Can I have dissociation if I’ve never been traumatized?
"What's this?" she thinks to herself looking at this piece of paper.
Emily has been nervous about her big test. She's studied all night and doesn't feel prepared enough.
She gets her test and stops. It’s already completed and graded.
It looks like her hand writing. It sounds like how she would’ve answered the questions.
"What's going on? I thought the test was today." She whispers to herself beginning to freak out.
Emily's mind begins racing and then, goes blank. Her hands begin to feel bigger and her arms look like they are extending from her body. Like a Stretch Armstrong doll.
Emily looks around to see the teacher passing out the graded test to everyone else in the class.
Her friend is saying something to her, but she can't hear it. It's like her ears are filling with cotton.
“Oh well, I'm glad that's over with."
Her body slowly returns to feeling like normal and the teacher begins the day's lesson.
"What's wrong with me?" Her last thought before she assumes her student role.
This is the question she asks me in therapy.
What is dissociation?
The basic defintion of dissociation means “not associated.” In psychology, there are often two similar, but different concepts. First, psychologists considered it a defense mechanism. They referred to dissociation as a disconnection from their experience. This psychoanalytic concept refers to a normal everyday phenomenon. An example would be daydreaming during a boring part of one’s day. Daydreaming is not considered a problem. However, it may be an issue if it interferes with their daily functioning.
On the other hand, trauma-related dissociation refers to the significant disconnection. This can include:
memory
awareness
sensation
identity
They lose these abilities due to a reminder of the trauma. In a previous post, I discussed the difference between Big T trauma and little T trauma. Trauma-related dissociation often occurs during Capital T, bold, underlined, trauma. They are often considered one’s “breaking points.”
Humans have three major ways to handle threats to their physical or emotional safety.
Fight - We can fight it.
Flight - Run away from it.
Freeze - Hide from it.
If a garter snake blocks someone’s path, how would threatening would it look? It wouldn’t be too scary because they could stomp on it.
If it looks like a car will speed through a red light, you’re walking on a crosswalk through an intersection. You might feel your body tighten a little as you make it to the sidewalk. But then, it will soon return back to normal.
Now, imagine facing a grizzly bear and realizing you are between her and her cubs. Assume the fetal position and protect your vital organs because Mama Bear ain't happy.
Look at this majestic killing machine.
From an emotional lens, trauma- related dissociation works in the same way. Your fight and flight responses are chronically ignored or even punished. So, you disappear from any pain and discomfort. Many people who suffer from chronic trauma-related dissociation often use these things to dissociate:
Read books, especially fantasy
Spend hours on social media
Video Games
Role-playing games
Drugs and alcohol
The famous author of Lord of The Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien created his stori stories as a way to process his trauma.
In my next blog, I will discuss how to manage dissociation and quickly come out of it.
